Friday, April 30, 2010

“May the dreams of your past be the reality of your future." ~Anonymous

“We cannot change our past. We can not change the fact that people act in a certain way. We can not change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude.” ~Charles R. Swindoll

I had a dream last night. One of those dreams that are so real that you wake up disoriented, trying to remember where you were and what you were doing, so real that for a second you feel like the dream was real and the real world is just a dream.

I dreamt that I went back in time and met myself as a child - very young, old enough to talk but too young to know it was strange to meet your future self. She (I?) was walking around in the dark, looking for something or someone, I'm not sure...I didn't ask. I knew that this was my chance to tell her all of the things I wish I had known when I was her age, the things that could have helped me through the hard times.

My first instinct was to tell her all of the things about the world that are wrong. I wanted to warn her about how dangerous the world really is. About rainy days and dark nights. I thought of telling her about strangers with candy, mean classmates and bullies, people with hidden agendas, of broken hearts and broken promises. I considered warning her about things I knew she would go through - of the impending divorce, the moves, the new schools, leaving behind friends, leaving behind family, growing up and growing apart of the accident that would cause her to lose 3 of her teeth leaving her with a fear and dislike of dentists, of the haircut that would leave her looking like a boy and would cause the kids at school to make fun of her, of hiding in the library to avoid the bullies, of people who would hurt her, people she would hurt and everything in between. I wanted to warn her that her heart would be broken many times - not only by boys but also by friends, and in fact that the friends would hurt her more than any boy ever could. I thought of telling her about the dangers that lurk around every unknown corner and in every dark room - even her own.  I thought about telling her all of this, I considered it and the words almost came pouring out of my mouth.

But as I prepared to tell her these things I thought about what I was about to do. And I realized that if I told her all of these things she would spend every waking moment worried and scared, expecting disappointment and heartache and sadness and anger, fearful and hurt, terrified of everything and everyone. And I knew then what I had to do.

I pulled her close to me and wrapped my arms around her. I looked her in the eyes. I smiled. And I started talking. I told her the things that I wish I had known when I was her age. Things that even now I sometimes forgot. I told her about the wonder and beauty of life. I told her about jumping in puddles and rainbows, about days at the beach and nights by the campfire. I told her about Almighty God watching over her and keeping her safe. I told her about teachers who would inspire her, challenge her and push her to work her hardest. I told her about friends who would stand by her and hold her hand when she was afraid. I told her about books that she would read that would open her eyes to worlds beyond imagination. I told her about days spent outside playing with her little brother and baby sister. About bike rides and walks in the valley. Of walking for hours and singing for days. Of dancing at clubs and dancing on stage. I told her about first love and first kisses. And of second love and second chances. I told her about all of the good times she would have growing up - all of the fun and laughter, the happiness and joy, the adventures and scavenger hunts that would fill most of her days. I told her about the many people who love her and who she loves. I told her about her mother, her father, her uncle, her brother and sister, her baby twin. I told her about all of the wonderful friends she would have throughout her life, of all the wise people she would meet who would guide her and teach her to be a better, stronger, kinder person. I told her how blessed she is and would be all the days of her life. And when I looked down she (I?) had fallen asleep in my arms, a smile on her face, comforted by dreams of family and friends and the happy days ahead.


Thursday, April 29, 2010

Another day, another lesson...

“Personally, I'm always ready to learn, although I do not always like being taught.” ~Winston Churchill

Lessons are everywhere...we just have to see them.

Last night, like most other nights, my BF and I had a late night craving for a French Vanilla. I am fortunate to live in an area where everything you want is available within a few blocks...including a Tim Hortons at the bottom of my building (right next to my gym - but for some reason I rarely have late night cravings for a run on the treadmill)!

Now when I say "most other nights" I'm not exaggerating. We stop by this Timmies about 5-6 times a week, always in the evening. I have had a few "unpleasant encounters" with the day staff and actually boycotted this location for a while...before realizing the nearest Iced Cap fix is a subway station away!

Well the evening staff know us well and we always stop to chat. We have never had a problem with them. Until yesterday. 

We waited in line for a bit and then stepped up to give our order. The conversation went as follows:

Lady serving us (not a regular evening staff member): "Next!"
BF: "Hi, how are you tonight?"
Lady: "What's your order? There's a line."

Now, yes there was a line of people behind us...about 3 people were waiting. But not one of them seemed like they were about to drop dead of starvation or caffeine-deficiency...so at the very least she could have offered us a perfunctory "Fine."...but instead she decides to give us ATTITUDE?!?! I was livid and ready to give this woman a piece of mind about what customer service means and the fact that we were paying customers just like everyone else in line, and maybe if she was a bit friendlier with her customers people wouldn't be so frustrated at having to wait in line and that it is her JOB to serve us and ensure that our experience is a pleasant one! I worked in customer service for years and would never DARE to talk to a customer like that! I know everyone has bad days and it's hard to be pleasant all the time...but I also know that it's part of the job and if you can't handle it it's time to brush up the resume and find a job somewhere in a cave where you don't have to interact with other human beings. I would have finished up with a request to speak to the manager and told her that she had better straighten up her act or I would see to it that she never worked in this city again! And then I would have placed my order, paid my money, had my French Vanilla and been too angry to enjoy it.

But instead this is what happened:

Lady serving us: "Next!"
BF: "Hi, how are you tonight?"
Lady: "What's your order? There's a line."
BF (taking his time): "Hm. I would like to order from that lady instead." (Turns away and goes to the other woman working).

BF: "Hi, how are you tonight?"
2nd Lady: "I'm good! How are you guys? Your hair looks different today!"
BF: "You like?"
2nd Lady: "Yes, it's nice! (turns to a 3rd woman) Do you like his hair like this?"

We chatted briefly, placed our order and left with smiles on our faces. The 2 women who served us also had smiles when we left and even the first woman tried (unsuccessfully) to get in on our conversation when she saw us all laughing.

It wasn't until we left that I realized what had just happened. BF had quickly avoided a bad situation without getting angry or worked up. The rude woman was left feeling ashamed and slightly stupid while everyone else was able to go on enjoying their day! Most importantly I was able to enjoy my French Vanilla without any anger or frustration getting in the way.

Lesson learned: Even though many people in customer service don't seem to understand that part of their job is to ensure the customer leaves smiling, maybe there are better ways to deal with rude service people then to retaliate with my own dose of rude. So the next time I am in a store or restaurant (or even on the TTC) and am faced with terrible customer-service I won't yell or lecture or even ask for the manager. I will smile...and just walk away knowing that karma's a b#&%* so I don't have to be!

Friday, April 23, 2010

cum hoc ergo propter hoc

fal·la·cy   /ˈfæləsi/



1.a deceptive, misleading, or false notion, belief, etc.: That the world is flat was at one time a popular fallacy.
2.a misleading or unsound argument.
3.deceptive, misleading, or false nature; erroneousness.
4.Logic. any of various types of erroneous reasoning that render arguments logically unsound.
5.Obsolete. deception.


Most of the things I learned in high school seemed like a waste of time and many have long-since disappeared from my overloaded mind. Ask me to name the elements on the periodic table or how to calculate derivatives or what ecozones Canada is made up of and you will get a blank stare every time! But one topic I remember, because even as a 16 year-old I saw how applicable it was to everyday life. The day our English teacher told us we would be discussing fallacies and logic I was probably just as confused as the rest of the class. But, once I realized that learning this would allow me to poke holes in other people's arguments thereby helping me WIN every argument I was hooked! Ever since high school I have enjoyed pointing out to people -usually right in the middle of a heated discussion- the fundamental logical flaws on which the premise of their argument is based.
 
Well imagine my excitement and joy when I opened the paper yesterday and read an article about an Iranian cleric who has boldy claimed that the cause of earthquakes is "women who do not dress modestly". I am used to religious fanatics (among others) who find ways to blame the ills of society on women- such as myself- who for some (CRAZY) reason think that we have the same rights as our male counterparts. But this is new. Now, not only is it our fault that men cheat but this in turn leads to natural disasters!?!
 
I was excited to rip this argument to shreds...just because two things happen simultaneously it doesn't mean one of those things caused the other (cum hoc ergo propter hoc). But, while causality had not been established I realized that my argument was illogical too. Just because no one has shown that women dressing provocatively causes earthquakes doesn't mean it's not true. How could I argue this point when nothing had ever been done to prove that women dressing provocatively DOES NOT cause earthquakes?!?
 
Luckily, US student Jennifer McCreight must have thought the same thing. Jennifer (jokingly) challenged the cleric's statement and declared that on Monday April 26th she would "wear the most cleavage-showing shirt" she owns and has asked women around the world to join her in testing this new theory. On her blog Jennifer mentions that this started as a joke and is not to be some sort of feminist demonstration. Well, I (and over 30, 000 other women who have signed up via facebook and twitter) will be joining Jennifer by dressing "immodestly" on Monday. I plan to look as immodest as possible :)
 
Feminist demonstartion or not, on Monday we will do our best to prove that women are not to blame for earthquakes. And hey, if the cleric IS right all that immodesty will surely lead to the early demise of our planet...and we might as well look our best for the end of the world, right?
 
Check out "Boobquake" for details :)

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Time to get moving (literally)

Sometimes I'm very impulsive. Not often. And not usually recklessly. But sometimes I have a decision to make and knowing that I tend to overanalyze things I just decide without thinking things through completely.

Yesterday I impulsively agreed to run the Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation CIBC Run for the Cure. So not only do I have to begin training for my longest run ever, but I have to do it outside. It's for a great cause and having lost an aunt to breast cancer 2 years ago, I thought this would be a nice way to honour her. But...I agreed to run 5K!

And today it hit me that not only have I never run 5K in my life, but I haven't run outside since those horrible high school gym classes when they forced us to run up the hill behind my school and I would try to get out of it by claiming to have menstrual cramps (to which the teacher responded that running is good for cramps. Damn.). I stopped taking phys. ed. as soon as it became optional - grade 11, I think.

It's not that I don't like working out. I go to the gym every once in a while (not as consistently as I would like, but a couple times a week...unless of course other things come up LOL). But I DO NOT like to run. I especially don't like to run outside where the weather is unpredictable. When I run outside I have trouble breathing and I get stomach cramps every 10 seconds or so. Which is why I don't run.

I really should have thought this out better.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

I am grateful for so many things

grate•ful

 –adjective

1. warmly or deeply appreciative of kindness or benefits received; thankful: I am grateful to you for your help.
2. expressing or actuated by gratitude: a grateful letter.
3. pleasing to the mind or senses; agreeable or welcome; refreshing: a grateful breeze.




I am grateful for so many things in my life. I am grateful for the wonderful family that I was blessed with, the amazing friends that I have been lucky to meet and connect with through the years, and the beautiful man that I was fortunate enough to meet and fall in love with. I am grateful for the many opportunities that have led me to this point in my life. I am grateful for a job that not only pays the bills but also is a stepping stone to a great career. I am grateful for my apartment, my sanctuary from the world, my home and the one place that I feel most at ease. I am grateful for my healthy, strong body and my healthy, strong mind. I am grateful that I live in a place where I am treated with respect and dignity, and where I have the right to make my own decisions about my life.


The only thing is….sometimes I want more. Sometimes I feel restless and I think of something that is missing and I want it. Sometimes I have an overwhelming desire to travel, to see the rest of the world. Those times it gets to me that I don’t have the money to just pick up and take off, to go on an adventure. But then, I remember all the things that I dislike about travelling, I remember all the places I’ve been that didn’t even compare to my city and I remember that in many of those places there are people who have never even been on a plane. And then I’m grateful that I ever had the chance to travel at all.


Sometimes I wish I had a job that was more exciting or that paid better. But then, I remember that a lot of people have to work overtime for no pay, some people get paid much less than I do and some people commute for hours to get to a job that they hate. And then I’m grateful for a job that is so flexible, so close to home and that pays so well.

Sometimes I wish I was thinner, or that my thighs were smaller. But then, I remember that some people are thin because they have no food, some people do not have both of their legs and some people would kill for my figure. And then I’m grateful for all the working parts of my body and all the parts that I do like (my eyes, my waist, my boobs).

Sometimes I wish I had a man who would shower me with compliments, cover me in kisses and tell me every day how much he wants to be with me. But then, I remember that some people do not have any one, some people have someone who treats them terribly but they can’t leave and some people have had their perfect love and lost them. And then I’m grateful for the intelligent, brilliant man that I have ended up with and for his patience and understanding, for the respect and consideration he shows me, for all of the ways he can make me laugh when I’m miserable, for the time he takes to try and understand the confusing workings of my mind, for the days that I have been given with him and for the many more that I hope will come.


I am grateful for so many things in my life...but most of all I am grateful for life, the chance to live and learn, to make mistakes, to right my wrongs and to appreciate all of the wonderful things and people with which God has blessed me.

Monday, April 19, 2010

Random thoughts from the mind of Eden

Having completely succumbed to my social networking addictions (yes, I now spend more time talking to my friends on Facebook than actually TALKING to my friends), I thought it was time to begin my own blog. Committment is scary but I hereby commit myself to this blog and to you, the reader. I promise to do my best to keep this updated on a somewhat-consistent basis and to inundate you with all the random thoughts that flitter through my head! I'm excited to begin this journey and thank you for coming along for the ride :)